Your spiritual life
Are you happy with your spiritual life? Fill in the questionnaire to find out what, if anything, you want to change about your spiritual life.
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How did you do? Is there anything you want to change about your spiritual life? Spring cleaning your approach to life will, ultimately, bring you peace and strength.
Do you have peace and stillness in your life?
If you’re constantly on the go, why is this? There will be many superficial reasons that you never have a minute to yourself, a minute to reflect, but it’s worth asking yourself these questions:
1. Do I believe I have to do in order to justify my existence? Is it not enough sometimes just to be?
If you do feel compelled to be achieving all the time, think about why this is and how it started. It may be that it’s based on what your parents thought was the way to behave – and parents are not always right.
It may also be that you feel insecure in one area of your life and are trying to compensate for it by working very hard in either that or, more likely, in another area. For example, I have two single friends who work much longer hours at their jobs than they did when they were in relationships. Conversely, another friend is unhappy in her job and spends a lot of time obsessing about her relationship and trying to make it perfect. If you let go of struggling to control your environment, you’ll be much happier. You’ll never succeed in controlling life and the attempt will grind you down. Just go with the flow.
You do not have to prove yourself to the world. It’s your life: lead it in the way you want to.
2. Am I afraid of giving myself space to think? Am I keeping myself busy in order to avoid looking at my situation?
This is a common way of dealing with being unfulfilled but it is ultimately self-defeating. Instead of keeping on avoiding looking at what you don’t like, confront it and change it. If you’re living an uncomfortable life, it doesn’t have to be like this. Changes that look as if they are going to be horribly difficult and painful to implement are almost always much worse in anticipation than they are in fact. Give yourself the time and space to work out what it is you really want… and then go for it!
Is there some part of your life that is damaging you?
If there is part of your life that you have to hide because you know it’s wrong and/or dangerous (such as an affair, an addiction, plotting the downfall of someone you dislike, stealing, intense jealousy) you need to take steps to change the situation. Ask for external help if necessary but don’t keep on living with the strain of deception and the betrayal of yourself, your values and the people who care about you.
Do you feel your life has purpose?
If the serious answer is no, I would guess (because this is what happened to me) that you’re suffering from depression. I recommend, if you can, you find yourself a therapist. Prozac and so on are all very fine and they do help some people but they don’t solve the underlying problems, which you can do with the help of a good therapist.
Do you sometimes give of your time, money and/or energy to help strangers?
Pretty well whatever state we’re in, a bit of altruism is good for us and for the world. Of course, helping friends and family is important but helping strangers can bring an extra level of satisfaction. Don’t make the mistake of feeling you shouldn’t be getting any pleasure out of giving. If you don’t enjoy doing voluntary work, if you begrunge every penny you give to charity, if you’re doing that sponsored event purely out of a sense of responsibility, you probably shouldn’t be doing any of it. This is not to say boast about it or feel superior but there is nothing wrong with feeling good about what you do and getting fun out of it.
Volunteering, particularly, can be immensely rewarding and you can meet all sorts of interesting people.
Take regular time out
Some time out every so often is essential to our wellbeing. Get yourself some nice candles and put on some soothing music if you want to. Then sit quietly, perhaps watching a flame, or lie peacefully in the bath. Let the stress fall away from you.
Meditation is a very useful tool for cultivating peace in your life, as is yoga.
The world can manage without you for an hour or two. You are important; nurture yourself.